oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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