Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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