I just made out with a guy for $7.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize