No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
