didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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