Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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