It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
