WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
