I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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