He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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