you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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