Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We are all done wearing pants today
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
