loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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