Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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