How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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