But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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