she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
