East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
soo... how was my night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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