id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
