I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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