I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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