She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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