Cold hands, warm shart.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
