is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize