This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize