all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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