I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
this hospital has no fireball
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
