Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
