he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
