Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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