Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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