Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
