Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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