Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
