...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
