When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
