He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
