he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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