i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
