I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize