Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Randomize