Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
