but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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