P.S. I can't hear my feet
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
