hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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