drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
