nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
