Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
