my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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