she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
