Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize