my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize