More tranny stories later!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
soo... how was my night?
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