"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize