well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
