So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
