Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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