Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize