He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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