This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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