I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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