ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
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dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
