I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i love accidental penises.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
